The New Stalkers

The world is an open book. Nothing is private anymore. Everyone can find out the most personal details on any friend or stranger these days. At 43 years old, I am caught in the middle of this shift from private to public. My kids wont know a world with privacy. Their life will be an open book.

This really hit me riding on the Acela Train from NYC to Washington DC. People are sitting there getting work done chatting on their cellphones. A rider across from me was having trouble connecting to her companies email system and called her technical support. She said her name on the call and I thought I would see how much I could find out about her in the next 5 minutes.

Using LinkedIn, Facebook and Google, I found out where she worked, went to school, lived and interests. That took all of 2 minutes.

I really wanted to ask her "What was it like going to MIT in 1992?" or "Been skydiving recently?" or "Great time on the Turkey Trot Road race last year, plan to do it again"

But I am from the "old" world and "old" world people get freaked out about this openness. I felt like a stalker researching this person in front of her. I wonder how an 18 year old feels about this..my guess is that they would be totally comfortable doing this.

What's the point of all this? Not sure. Social trends take a long time to take hold and this is one trend that will surely change the ways of the world....

Oh and please remember, next time you are blabbering away on your cellphone - the buisinessman sitting across from you may be looking up recent pictures of you from Halloween....

F Minus

Below are all from "F Minus". This is the funniest comic strip out today. It is running in The Boston Globe and other newspapers. Every day is funny and some days are really, really funny. Here are some good ones....

And 2 of my all time favorites.....

If you want to see more, go here:

http://www.fminus.net/oldfminus1.htm

Dilbert just wasn't doing it for me anymore......

A.C. Moore and Cardiac Arrhythmia

Yesterday, we had the remnants of Hurricane Ernesto cross our area, so it was a pretty miserable rainy and gloomy day. It was a good day to get some errands done and do a bit of shopping. And then Lisa sprang it on me...."After lunch, I need to go to A.C. Moore".

I immediately got a case of Cardiac arrhythmia and felt my heart skip a couple beats. For those lucky souls never to have set foot in an A.C. Moore, let me describe the place:

The store's tagline is " No One Does Arts, Crafts, and Florals Better". That pretty much describes what they sell. The average price of most items is about 2$ and pretty much nothing in the whole store costs more than $30. Here is a video from their web site: Fall Craft Video. You will get the idea after about 30 seconds, the kind of consumer this place attracts.

As we made our way into the store, I felt my heart again and started to get a Headache. Lisa started to sweep through the aisles scanning through the myriad of Glitter Glue and Silk Flowers. I asked her if I could help her find something. She said not really. I was adamant about helping and asked her again and she relented and said she was looking for a "Fall Doily". I was wrong. I have no idea what a "doily" is, much less a fall doily....

So, left to my own, I decided to do a little research and see what other men in the store were doing. Here is my market research analysis:

Man #1: Older man in a gray sweater, by himself. He looked busy browsing a tall bin, until I noticed what was in the bin - $2 "Fuzzy Sock Puppets". Not quite sure I want to know what he needs those for...

Man#2: This other guy, a Dad, about my age, was in line buying 9 wood stars of varied sizes. He looked really concerned that he didn't have the right stars that his wife really needed for some Fall Floral Arrangement. Poor Guy - sent into AC Moore by himself. Never, ever go into AC Moore with a shopping list.

Man #3: This guy looked like he was enjoying the shopping experience. Nodding his head, saying how that picture frame would look good in the bathroom. Then, I realized he was tapping away the whole time on his Blackberry - getting a little work done. This guy was obviously a veteran AC Moore shopper and knew how to make the time more productive. Note to self - bring gadget next time.

After about 20 more minutes of shopping, Lisa was done. 30 minutes of shopping and here is what we bought - 1 coloring book and 2 of these:

For a grand total of (less our 50% off one item coupon):

($5.75)

Here is the kicker - Lisa told me to "save the receipt, in case I need to return something". This is the clear line between male and female shoppers. Anything I buy for less that 20$ - I toss the receipt in the trash. Nope, women will drive 30 miles, spend 4$ in gas money, to return a 3$ item....

Well, I thankfully made it out of the store alive. No sudden heart attack in the "doily" aisle. That would be a sorry way to go. Imagine the headline: "Police Scratch Their Heads As Another Man Dies in Doily Aisle of AC Moore".

I will leave you with my top 3 list of stores for males to avoid if you want to steer clear of potential heart problems:

1. AC Moore, of course

2. JoAnn Fabrics (close second...luckily, you only have to go here every 10 years or so)

3. Linens N Things (at least they sell some electronics here)

And of course the Top 3 stores for males to do a little browsing:

1. Best Buy

2. Circuit City

3. Sharper Image

See ya.

Canadian Rockies

Went to the Canadian Rockies this summer to celebrate Lisa and my ten year wedding anniversary. The Candian Rockies are Spectacular. If you have been - you know what I mean. If you haven't been - start planning a trip there.

Pictures don't really do this place justice. It is 100X better than the picture looks. The mountains are huge, the lakes are deep blue, and the activities are endless. Trust me - you need to go here.

Let me plan your 7 day - 6 night trip for you. This itinerary is close to what we did, but improved just for you. Here is the itinerary:

Spend 3 nights in Lake Louise and 3 night in Banff.

Day 1: Lake Louise. White Water Raft on the Kicking Horse River. Go with Wild Water Adventures and ask for Billy as your raft guide. He will make sure you get soaked in 38 degree water, but love every minute of it.

Day 2: Lake Louise. Hike on the Athabasca Glacier and experience the magnificence of a huge piece of Ice. (also see the effects of global warming first hand)

Day 3: Lake Louise. Hike around Lake Louise up to the Lake Agnes Tea House (for tea and muffins) and out to the Plain of Six Glaciers. DO it early in the morning, before the tourists show up hiking in high heels, taking pictures of every chipmunk they come across (don't they have Chipmunks in Japan???)

Day 4: Head to Banff. Rent Bikes and mountain bike or even spend the day on the town recreation paths. You will see waterfalls, wildlife, and should even stop for lunch at The Sushi House. Neat place that has a train running through the restaurant with different sushi dishes on each of the cars. When you see one you want - you just take it off the car. At the end of the meal - they add up the number of plates and pay.

Day 5: Banff. Spend the whole day at Willow Stream Spa. Take a Yoga Class in the morning (did it for the first time and it was hard), play a little tennis, hit the cold/hot/mineral baths. Take a whirlpool, sauna, steam. Shower and use loads of the fancy soap, shampoo and warm shaving cream. Get an hour sports massage ( I prefer female). Hang out in your bathrobe and read the paper in the "Co-Ed Relaxation Lounge". Go back and re-do everything again. Try and spend at least 6 hours in this place and get your money's worth. It is expensive, but well worth it.

Day 6: Banff. Open to do what ever else you like or just hang out in the town of Banff.

Head home knowing you have been to one of the greatest places on earth.

If I missed something special on my itinerary - let me know, we plan on going back....

Outsourcing

(Sorry to everyone about not posting in a long time, but summer has kept me off the computer. I will be back blogging more often, now that fall is here....)

Lots and lots of news these days on Outsouring US jobs to India, China, Philippines and other countries. There is a great book: The World is Flat that describes how more and more jobs get outsourced each day due to globalization. For Example: You bring your tax return to HR Block thinking that some Accountant in their office will do your tax return for $150. Wrong. They scan all your paperwork in and ship it off electronically to India, where an accountant trained in US tax laws does your return. The reason? In India, the accountant does it for a couple bucks and hour vs. fifty bucks an hour in the US.

There are many other jobs that get outsourced, assembly line jobs, technical support jobs, etc... Basically, anything that can be done competently by someone in another country is getting outsourced, all in the name of productivity and cost savings.

So, I was thinking about this recently and was wondering when all this outsourcing will benefit me??? HR Block's use of offshore accountants helps them make money. How can I take advantage of all this outsourcing....Hmmmmm.

Top 5 things I am planning on outsourcing:

1. Technical Support to family members - Yes, I work in high tech - but my time is more valuable than to help Lisa, my wife, figure out how to download 32 pictures from some 4 year old's birthday party, put them on line and share them.

Or nothing worse than sitting down to watch the Red Sox on TV and hearing "The computer is not working, please come help". This is usually a quicker fix - after taking a quick look at the hung state - I reboot everything. But these 5 minutes away from game, usually end up in a David Ortiz walk off home run...

From now on, when any family member needs help with basic computing tasks - I will give them a 1-800 number that connects them to someone in India who will be much more willing to help than me and I will happily pay the support rep $3 per hour to help with these tasks.

2. Sunday night trash and Recycling duty: Whoever made trash pickup in my town on a Monday morning was not thinking straight. Sunday night should be spent relaxing - not running around the house collecting trash and filling up the recycling bins. I would like to outsource this task. Can't you see the help wanted ad in the local paper?

Job Opening: Sanitation Engineer - Looking for someone to come into my house every Sunday night to collect and separate trash/recycling items. No need to speak english. Basic knowledge of plastic, paper, glass, and aluminum required. Pay: 1$ per bag or bin. Bonus Plan- Keep any bottle deposit money from beer and soda cans. Please send resume if you have 5+ years experience.

3. Bedtime routine with kids: Ok, not all the time but occasionally it would be nice to outsouce the bath, brush teeth, comb hair, read books nightly routine. How great would it be after a really long day to hang out with a glass of wine, while a trained professional ran my kids through a hyper efficient bedtime routine. The trained professional could type up a status report of any problems and email it to me.

4. Filling up the car with gasoline: What a pain this can be. I am always running on E at the worst possible times, like stuck in traffic or late to a meeting. Getting off an exit, standing at the self serve gas pump and getting back on the highway can take 20 minutes per fill up. I probably fill up once every week, sometimes more. That adds up to a couple hours per month wasted standing at the Mobil station.

Imagine if a gas fill up service came to ME every time my gas tank dropped below 1/2 full. All I need is a signal sent from my car and GPS. Gas could be delivered from some mobile gas station truck thing. Maybe even do an oil change, fill up my ashtray with quarters (so I have tolls or parking meter currency), and fill up my Altoids tin.

5. I am keeping Outsourcing idea #5 to myself. It is too good an idea to let out into public and have someone steal it and make the cover of Business Week. If High Tech tanks again - I am starting up a business based on idea #5.

Let the real Outsourcing revolution begin!

Becoming a Flexitarian

Ever have a month where you just ate like crap? You know - Buffalo Wings, Potato Skins, Tombstone Pizza, Busch beer, Western Omelette's, bacon and other foods that make your stomach turn. A month where the only vegetable you eat is the potato in potato chips. A month where the only fruit that makes it into your belly is a marachino cherry.

I did. That month was August 2005 and I decided then and there it was time to go vegetarian.

Why vegetarian you say? Why not just eat healthy?

Simple. I needed an easy way to decide quickly what was ok to eat and what was not. Becoming a vegetarian seemed the easiest path to healthy eating and feeling great. If you can't eat meat -then no more fast food or greasy food and instead - lots of vitamin rich, nutritious leafy stuff. Easy, I thought. Lots of people I know are vegetarians - if they can do it, why not me?

Here is the definition of Vegetarian from Wikipedia:

Vegetarianism is the practice of not eating meat, including beef, poultry, fish, or their by-products, with or without the use of dairy products or eggs. The exclusion may also extend to products derived from animal carcasses, such as lard, tallow, gelatin, rennet and cochineal. Some who follow the diet also choose to refrain from wearing products that involve the death of animals, such as leather, silk, fur and many or all down feathers. It should be noted that although many vegetarians abstain from all animal by-products, others make exceptions in their diet and attire. Vegetarians may consume dairy and egg products; a stricter form is veganism, which excludes dairy, eggs, and any foods that contain these or other animal products.

So, let me be clear - I have no problem philosophically with eating or wearing animal products and always ate meat quite happily. I did see a 60 Minutes episode once about Purdue caged up chicken's that eat growth hormones and never see the light of day and that did kind of gross me out. I like trying new things (see previous indoor hat blog posting) and knew it was time to become a vegetarian after that month of stomach abuse.

Little did I realize there are lots of types of vegetarians:

Lacto-ovo vegetarianism - Lacto-ovo vegetarians do not eat meat but do consume dairy products and eggs. This is currently the most common variety in the Western world.

Fruitarianism involves a diet of only fruit, nuts, seeds, and other plant matter that can be gathered without harming the plant. Some fruitarians eat only plant matter that has already fallen off the plant. This typically arises out of a holistic philosophy. Thus, a fruitarian will eat beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, pumpkins, and the like, but will refuse to eat potatoes or spinach.

Did you read the above clearly? Not being able to pick an apple off a tree is freakin extreme. Trust me - there are lots of other kinds too. But there is one type that is doable by normal people (people like me and you). Flexitarianism.

Flexitarianism - Flexitarians adhere to a diet that is mostly vegetarian but occasionally consume meat.

Well, its been about 8 months of happy flexitarian living. This is a real thing - see for yourself - MSNBC news article on it or Google It. Funny thing is - I just realized there is an official term for the way I have been eating. Now you can become vegetarian too, just follow the Flexitarian rules and exceptions.

Basic Rule:

Basically eat lots of fruit, vegetables, whole grain pasta, veggie burgers, cereal, cheese - the usua vegetarian stuff. Fish is allowed. Cutting out fish, sushi, shellfish would be too hard. Plus, bodies need protein and fish is the healthiest way to get it and I like fish.

Exceptions:

1. No chicken, pork, bologna or other low end meats allowed. No big deal, because these meats are just filler and you won't really miss them. Occasionally, feel free to finish that last chicken nugget off your childrens plate or boneless buffalo wing.

2. Steak is not allowed except if under certain conditions. Those conditions include:

• Tailgating at a Patriots game with 12 friends. Telling 12 friends you are going to bring the eggplant for the grill could jeopardize your invitation from future sporting events. Eat the steak tips and keep your mouth shut. Plus they taste so good after skipping them for a while.
• Business dinner at Capital Grille. Eating a Portobello Mushroom for dinner could cost you the promotion you have been working hard for. Get the porterhouse and finish it.

3. Bite sized pieces of meat are allowed. This includes things like prosciutto or taking a bite of a steak and cheese sandwich. No harm here, just providing your taste buds a little treat. The rule is that the portion size must be no larger than can fit in bite.

Go ahead and eat that Sausage patty and be proud to be a vegetarian - the flexitarian way.

Indoor Hat

I bought an indoor hat this winter. Yup, a hat that is meant to be worn inside your house, a bar, in Starbucks, or anywhere else with 4 walls and a ceiling. I became intrigued with the idea of an indoor hat while skiing in Vail 2 years ago. They were not popular, but I saw a couple of people wearing hats inside. The hats were not like other hats - they were different. I was interested in knowing the stories of the people wearing the hats. Were they ski bums? Trust fund kids? or just good kids having a blast for 1 winter in Vail before they got a real job. I decided they were the latter and I wanted their lifestyle. I wanted my own indoor hat.

I was 37 years old but wanted to live the lifestyle of an indoor hat wearer. Cool, hip, trendy, and it would even keep my balding head warm. I was in and I knew that I was one of the first to recognize the need to have one.

But I looked for one that told the world who I am. Brim or No Brim? Cotton or Wool? Reggae Style or Bomber Style? There were too many choices and not enough time to drag my wife and friends around from store to store in search of the perfect indoor hat. So, I left Vail hatless - but knew that I had to act quickly. I had to be an Early Adopter of the indoor hat. Nothing worse than recognizing a trend, but not taking action. (ie. Not buying an iPod back in 2001). But it was spring and hats were long gone from the shelves back home. Wait til next year.

The next winter came and went, but the indoor hat craze never materialized. Thank God. I looked around casually for a hat worthy of purchase, but they were still hard to come by and never found the right one.

Fast forward to the next winter. January 2006, skiing in Snowbird with some old work friends. Then I saw the kid who looked like he was out of college spending the winter chasing the snow, with the coolest looking indoor hat I had ever seen. Then I saw a girl working the register was wearing one. Then a ski instructor was spotted with one. That was it. I needed one and knew time was running out.

Next stop was the ski shop. Tried on about 5 styles and then I saw it - Olive colored, Cotton, Spyder, with the half brim. It fit my head perfectly. Here it is:

I am now the proud owner of my very own indoor hat. My friends poke fun at me...but I know that they will someday have one too.

I feel like I am in the Indoor Hat Early Adopter's Club. Kind of like the first kids to wear Teva's around. Nobody cool used to wear sandals - then some kids started wearing Teva's. A couple of years later, everyone had their very own Teva's. Then the inevitable happens, the quality of the product degrades, they go out of style, and the Early Adopters move on.....

Don't miss the Indoor Hat wave. I say 2008 is the breakout year for the indoor hat, which ensures us 2 years of "status". Like being a Platinum Medallion frequent flyer. I am wearing mine as much as possible, knowing the day will come when I will see Indoor Hats on sale at Wal Mart for $2.99. Don't wait - go get yours today.

The Olympic Sports Scam

Watching the Olympics is confusing. Are these events really sports? Well, let me clear up the confusion for you and give you some simple rules to decide if something is really a sport. Let's look at some sports and decide when is an activity a sport and when is it a scam sport:

Ice Dancing: This is fun to watch and the moves take stregth, skill and teamwork. However - Judges decide who wins and loses based on their costume, music, flair, and moves. RULE #1 - It does not qualify as a sport if Judges decide who wins and loses. Is Disco dancing a sport? Ballroom dancing? NO - and neither is Ice Dancing - Scam Sport. Why not put on a Broadway show like Phantom of the Opera and call that a sport? - Same thing here. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about....

RULE #1A - If you cry after losing and your makeup (male or female) gets messed up - then it cannot be a sport.

Figure Skating: See Rule 1 and 1A above. Scam Sport. It is one of the most popular events in the Olympics and that is why is stays with us. However, when Sasha Cohen falls twice and still wins a medal - that has to make even diehard fans wonder if this is really a sport or if it entertainment.


Bobsledding: This is a little trickier - so bear with me. Bobsledding is the most like a sport of these Scam Sports. It requires athleticism, teamwork, and speed. The winner is the team with best time. However, imagine the 10 year old kid sitting there watching on TV. He thinks the sport is cool and wants to get into Bobsledding and maybe get into the Olympics someday. He can't. He has no track to go to, no $100,000 Titanium Sled, and no other kids to do this with. He can take his Snow Disc down the local hill all day, everyday practicing - but that's it. He is stuck. Bobsled teams are handpicked and train exclusively to go to the Olympics. RULE #2 - If kids can't do the sport easily and compete locally - then it is not a sport.


Here are others which people might take as scam sports - but I believe that these should be sports.

Biathalon: This is a sport. X-C Skiing and shooting. Heck, we need sports for those kids that shot BB Guns as kids. Those BB Gun kids never played baseball and football, but were scary to hang out with - let's give them their own sport.

Curling: This one is tricky. It takes skill, teamwork and is decided by the players - not a judge. Also, there are local Curling rinks where kids can play. However, this activity involves home cleaning equipment (Brooms) which makes it confusing. I think this qualifies as a sport, but could be talked out of it....

Looking forward to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Summer Olympics are full of Scam Sports. Synchronized Swimming comes to mind and I think there is even some other sport where you run around a Gym Mat waving a colored ribbon. I can't wait.....